my first inamorato: part 2

my first inamorato: part 1

Afterwards, the cards were fewer and farther between.

Two years later, I went to visit my friend in Washington. When my visit was almost over, I finally called Jim. I can' even recall if I talked to him or got the answering machine. I called because I felt I had to, not that I wanted to. Whatever was between us, was gone and I didn't want to look like I was trying to hang on. We never had an end, it just faded.

Over the years, I thought about him. Not often but enough. I have a pretty good memory. I was SO surprised to hear from. His email was rather long and he apologized if he had hurt me. I assured him that he didn't. The fact is, he offered and I was ready. Love was not involved, probably not even lust, but a strong attraction and I was starved for attention never having a boyfriend since fifth grade where going together was more of a declaration more than any physical action.

What was really weird was him saying that he has read my blog. Oh lord! What does he think of me?
I finally emailed him back. I kept it light. He is married now, happily he repeated in his email. I thought it might be nice to have an email pal. I never got a response. Was he injured or killed? Did he think I wanted something more? I thought a lot about this. My theory is that he is in some kind of recovery, some 12 step program where he has to make amends.